Cute Little Puppy! Photo Credit To FreakingNews.com

In a bizarre statement to police, the Oregon woman who claims that Al Gore fondled and groped her during a massage session described the former Vice President as a giggling “crazed sex poodle” who gave a “come hither” look before pouncing on her in a Portland hotel suite. In a taped January 2009 interview with cops, the 54-year-old woman, a licensed masseuse whose name has been redacted from police records, read from a lengthy prepared statement that detailed her alleged October 2006 encounter with Gore at the Hotel Lucia. Excerpts from the Portland Police Bureau transcript of the 2009 interview can be found on the following pages. In December 2006, a lawyer for the woman told police about the purported encounter, but after the masseuse cancelled three interview appointments, the case was closed due to her refusal to “cooperate with the investigation or even report a crime.” It is unclear why, two years later, she approached Portland police and sought to memorialize her allegations against Gore, who she portrayed as a tipsy, handsy predator who forced her to drink Grand Marnier, pinned her to a bed, and forcibly French kissed her. The woman’s statement–which could be mistaken for R-rated Vice Presidential fan fiction–describes Gore as a man with a “violent temper as well as extremely dictatorial commanding attitude besides his Mr. Smiley Global Warming concern persona.” After fleeing Gore’s suite, the woman returned home to discover, a la Lewinsky, “stains on the front of my black slacks.” Suspecting that the stains were Gore bodily fluids, the woman made sure not to clean them. “I carefully hung them up and decided to be sure not to launder them until I knew more what to do with what had happened. Just my intuition.” While the masseuse hired a civil attorney, “I was not interested in making any money from this case,” she told cops. “I did not want to be labeled a gold digger like the women in this situation are often labeled.” The woman recently eased off this principled stand when she offered to sell her story to the National Enquirer for $1 million. (15 pages)

Related articles by White Rabbit Cult News Bureau:

• Drudge digs in, and The Smoking Gun has the transcript depicting Gore as “a giggling ‘crazed sex poodle.’” (althouse.blogspot.com)
• Is Al Gore a Sexual Molester? (dvorak.org)
• Oregon woman accused Gore of sexual misconduct in 2006 (seattletimes.nwsource.com)